Surgery

As I handed my baby over to the anesthesiologist this morning I thought to myself, When did I get old enough for this? Asher stared at us with his big blue eyes as they walked through the double doors and Marcus and I watched. Oh my gosh that was hard.

It is so hard to see your baby uncomfortable, in pain, or to have something wrong. I so wish that I could just protect him from everything, or take his place when he has to go through something like this.

I have been a nervous wreck as we've waited for today to get here. Sitting in the hospital waiting room I feel so anxious, sick to my stomach even, just wishing this could all be over.

I've looked around this waiting room at all of the other moms and dads, siblings and grandparents, all waiting for their loved ones. And I am so grateful that Asher is a healthy, happy little boy and that he doesn't have any kind of life threatening or really serious problems.

It is incredible to me how much love Marcus and I have for our little man. So much love. I cannot imagine our lives without him and we are so blessed to have him be a part of our family.

Post Edit:  Update:

Asher was in surgery for just under 3 hours and it was so hard to just sit and wait for him.  He did so well though and handled it like a champ.  He was really struggling as he woke up from the anesthesia, but since then he has been a little fussy and really sleepy but seems to be ok.    

MeRrY, mErRy ChRiStMaS!

Zoo Lights and Santa Claus

We went and saw the zoo lights with my parents and Asher's cousins.  It was FREEZING so Asher just stayed bundled up in the stroller, but we had a lot of fun.  The lights were really fun -- they had all kinds of moving animal lights (we didn't see any real animals except for a turkey, a camel, and a reindeer; the rest were all put away for the night or something).  

They also had Santa there.  He may have been the worst Santa Claus I have ever seen.  Super young, obviously fake shiny beard, black boot covers that didn't even cover his boots, and just a normal, younger guy's voice.  

 I am pretty positive though that Asher didn't notice.

Cute little kiddos.  If only Stella had been there too.  

Tis the Season / A Random Sampling

There are so many fun activities going on lately.  I love that about Christmas time -- all of the fun parties, activities, friends and family, and yummy food.

Fun little goodies for neighbors and friends.  Brownie Christmas trees and peppermint popcorn.  It just doesn't feel like Christmas to me without baking lots of treats, making up plates and delivering them around the neighborhood.  Thanks to pinterest for the idea, and these cute gift tags from here.

I hosted a fun party with all of the girls at my house this year.  Most of the husbands weren't going to be able to make it anyway, so we made it a girls night.  We had the best potluck meal and a fun gift exchange. I just love these girls and love any excuse to get together.  We seriously missed Sarah, Jamie, and Shayna who all live out of town.

Little Asher man loved this mini chair just his size at grandma and grandpa's house.  Sporting his Christmas shirt from granny.

We are getting closer and closer to being ready for Christmas at our house.  I can't believe it is in less than a week!

O H - C H R I S T M A S - T R E E

I am so happy to say that the tree is up and decorated.  I tried to talk Marcus into cutting a few feet of the tree off so that it wouldn't be such a beast to decorate, but he was not convinced.   He was a sweetheart though and got a giant ladder and did the top half of the tree.  At 16 feet tall this is our tallest tree so far!

I am missing the popcorn this year, but I just couldn't commit the time to something that I would just throw away after a few weeks.  Maybe next year.

And unrelated to the tree, Asher seems to have discovered his tongue this week.  He is constantly sticking it out, holding it and licking everything.

Happy little guy loves the bright lights and ornaments.  He loves everything sparkling and bright so of course he does.  

I could not convince Marcus to be in a picture, even though he was very involved with the lighting and decorating.  He said someone had to take the pictures. 

Probably my favorite thing about cutting down our Christmas tree is that each year our tree is so different, and no tree is perfect.  I love the uneven branches and the bare spots.  To me it's how a Christmas tree should be.

4 Months Old

Asher is four months old!

Can it really be that another month has gone by?

At four months:

Weight: 14 pounds 11 ounces (50 percentile)
Height: 24.75 (60 percentile)
Head: 16.5 (50 percentile)

-Asher goes to bed at about 8:30 and sleeps 8 or 9 hours.  He then goes back to sleep until around 8:30 to 9:00.  When he was sick he got used to waking up in the night and eating around 1 or 2.  So after he got better he was in a bad habit and we had to let him cry it out.  It took about a week to get back to sleeping the night.

-He is really good about going down for naps, but his nap lengths are pretty inconsistent.  Sometimes it is just 45 minutes and other times it is over 2 hours.  Usually though it is somewhere around an hour.

-He still doesn't like his carseat, but we took the head support out (poor guy was being totally squished!) and he seems to at least be doing somewhat better.

-He is constantly drooling.

-He has gotten really good at grabbing things if you put them near his hands.  He loves holding his rattles, burp cloths and blankets and then immediately puts them all in his mouth.

-He loves to stand on his legs.  He still loves laying on his back and kicks and talks.  He also still likes lying on his side and sucking his thumb when he's tired.

-He sucks on his left thumb while he holds onto that hand with his right hand. 

-He giggles all the time.

-He has now rolled over both directions.  Back to tummy first (November 16th, 3 1/2 months old) and tummy to back just yesterday!

-He has started to pucker his lips up and suck on them.  So he either makes a little fishy face or else looks like a grandpa without his dentures in.  It's pretty funny and makes us laugh.

-He loves his reflection.  

-He is a happy, happy boy.  Usually he will smile at anyone who talks baby talk to him, although in big groups he does get pretty serious.

-He is still wearing size 2 diapers and wears 3-6 month clothes.  

see one month, two months and three months.

Post Edit:  He went to the doctor today so his stats are now listed and here are his pictures from this morning. (12/6/2011)

Before his shots, poor little guy didn't know what was coming.

And after (during) the shots.

Tree Hunt

Last Saturday we headed up past Preston with all of my family to find our perfect trees.  This has become one of my very favorite traditions and it just wouldn't be Christmas without this.  It was a little bit different this year with Asher but so fun to have him there with us.  It was really cold.  We had Asher bundled up in the front pack but his little cheeks were so freezing that I ended up heading back to the car with him before we found a tree.  Marcus did a great job picking one out.

And of course we forgot Asher's hat...luckily he at least had his hood.

As usual we all headed home with gorgeous, giant Christmas trees.

After we all found our trees, we headed back to Katie's house and had a delicious dinner and so many yummy Christmas treats.  My mom brought packages for each of the kids and grandkids to get us into the Christmas mood.  She calls this the "Christmas kick-off" and she gave us all such fun things to enjoy throughout the Christmas season.  

Stay tuned for pictures of our decorated tree.

Pictures and Captions

Everyone knows I don't have an iPhone but I thought I'd post a few of my favorites from Marcus' phone.

Worn out at Costco

Sleeping cheeks

Sunday afternoon cuddles

All that is left of his hair

Chunky little baby

Happy chunky little baby

Standing chunky little baby

Mesmerized by something -- my guess -- the TV

Very serious

Bless you -- this little guy sneezes all the time

Photobooth Fun

Love playing around with this happy little munchkin.

He always has rosy red cheeks.  And the cutest dimply smile.

And usually a long strand of drool hanging out of his mouth.  

Asher is wondering what the heck mom?

And our photobooth sessions usually end like this.  

And never mind the fact that it looks like a bomb went off in our house.  We're having fun!

Day of Thanks

Happy Thanksgiving!

I have so much to be grateful for.  So, so much.  Last year on Thanksgiving I had just found out I was pregnant.  I could not have been happier and knew that it was the best Thanksgiving of my life so far.  And this year, with my sweet baby boy, is about a million times better.  I feel so blessed and so thankful to have my sweet little family.

I feel so grateful for everything I have.  For my family, our health, our education, a wonderful place to live, and for the gospel in our lives.  

I have a wonderful husband and a beautiful baby and I am so, so grateful.

Happy, happy Thanksgiving!

*My good friend is so sweet and took these beautiful pictures of Asher.  I just love them.*

Happy Happy Birthday

Happy Birthday Marcus!  I love you with all of my heart.  I am lucky to have such a wonderful husband and Asher is lucky to have such a good dad.  

Happy 29th old man!

Worry

Sometimes I really get caught up in all of the little things that make me worry.  I can always, always find something to worry about.  It seems like if it isn't one thing, it's something else.  Poor Marcus.  It drives him crazy the way I worry, but I swear I can't help it! (And I try to tell him it is part of my responsibility as a mom...but he isn't buying it.  Someone please back me up!)

So I used to have a job, and I didn't really love it or anything, but I was good at it.  I knew what I was supposed to do, and I did it.  I would always get it done and I always did it well.  I worked from 8 to 5, and my days were predictable.  So now, instead of a job, I have a baby.  And you know what?  Some days I don't feel very good at it.  Some days I don't know what I am supposed to do, or how to do it.  And it makes me feel CRAZY!  I get so stressed out, and I worry about poor little Asher, and his schedule, if he's getting enough to eat (hah!), enough sleep (and at the right times), if he's warm enough/cool enough, and on and on.

  

And to make matters worse, Asher had his first real cold this week, and things were a little crazy at our house.  And that is when I worry even more.  I worry about his snotty, stuffy nose, and if he's going to be able to breath.  I worry about his little cough and I worry that he's going to get sicker.  I worry if he needs to go to the doctor?  Or I worry that he doesn't.  And our schedule goes out the window and I'm not very flexible.  So then I just get stressed.

And then yesterday I had a few really eye-opening moments.  I visited two brand, brand new babies.  Each one week old.  And they were darling, and oh, so, TINY.  And I realized that Asher is not tiny anymore!  And it made me just realize that life is passing by so quickly, and I just really hope that I am soaking all of this in.  

And my sister texted me and asked how I was liking being home, if I was sick of the "mom" stuff or if I was loving it.  And I had just been complaining that all I felt like I did was dishes and laundry!  But WHAT was I thinking?  I get to stay home with my baby and play with him all.day.long.  

Life is so good!  I have the sweetest little baby in the whole wide world.  He is healthy.  Oh so healthy and growing like a weed.  And not to mention cute too.  I have a wonderful husband who thinks the world of me and completely takes care of us.  I am so blessed.

I really hope that I am living in the moment and noticing every last thing about baby Asher.  I hope that I am noticing his cute little toes, even his little toenails, his chubby belly, his throaty giggle, and every single last thing about him.  I wish that I could take pictures of every second of every day, because things are changing so quickly and I don't ever want to forget any of this.

Life is good.