Belated Mother's Day

Mother's Day has come and gone. And this year, I was a mother. What a miracle.

I wanted to post about how I was feeling on Mother's Day, but I was feeling too many things and I just couldn't put it into words. I wanted to post and say how happy I am to be a mom, how lucky, blessed and fortunate I feel. Because I do. But my heart also breaks for those who are still waiting to be moms, or who have lost their own little babies. And I didn't know how to articulate all that I was feeling, and also not feel like I was betraying those who want a baby so bad.

I always hated hearing people say they were so 'blessed to be a mother'. I knew it was true, but I wondered why they were blessed but not me. And I didn't want to stand here and say that same thing, while trying to express just really how grateful I am to be a mother. But I realize now how ungrateful I would be if I didn't say how incredibly happy I am to have my sweet baby Asher in our lives.

Some of my favorite things about being a mother are the simple things.  I love:

-Going into Asher's room just before I go to sleep and checking on him. I watch his perfect little face, his round little cheeks and his chest rising up and down with each breath. Some nights he is sleeping on his back, exactly the way we put him down. This means he was exhausted and had no time to squirm around before falling asleep. Other nights he is on his side, with his blanket tucked around his little body. And most often he is on his tummy, with his cute little face resting on his arms. This little boy is perfection and I feel like I have died and gone to heaven as I sit there and watch him, knowing that he was the little miracle I waited for.

-Seeing my sweet little boy light up when he sees me. He is such a small little thing but he already shows so much love. He loves me no matter what, and that is such a good thing.

-Watching little Asher man learn so many new things on a daily basis. And knowing that I am a huge part of that learning process. I know that is a huge responsibility but it is so exciting.

-Driving in the car with Marcus and realizing that we have a baby in the backseat. We spent a good 4 years together without a baby and sometimes it's almost like, 'oh yeah, we have a baby back there. Our baby!' Usually this happens on long drives when he is peacefully sleeping away. I am so grateful that we have a baby back there.

-Going to grandma's to go swimming.  I love that hanging up next to our swimsuits are tiny little board shorts for Asher man.

All in all I love being Asher's mama. I know that I am so lucky to be a mother and so grateful for this little guy in my life. He was the little baby we were waiting for and he has made me the happiest mama in the world. So grateful for this boy today, and the chance I have to be his mom.

**My sweet, sweet friend took these pictures for me for Mother's Day.  They are so perfect and so priceless to me.**

Escalante

We just got home from another fun backpacking trip to Escalante. This year we went with Marcus' brothers, James and Scott, and Scott's fiancé Julie. The weather was perfect, warm and sunny with a light breeze. It was absolutely beautiful down there and like always we had a great time. 

It was a quicker trip but we still had time to hike around, enjoy the scenery and spend plenty of time playing around.

We packed in these mini chairs that only have two legs and are super light for backpacking.  You have to use your legs to hold you up.  Marcus thought they were the best thing in the world but for me they were a lot of effort and I ended up tipped over in the sand more often then not.  No one else seemed to have a problem though and were happy to be off of the ground.

The view from our first night's campsite.  We moved downstream for the second night.

Our sleeping arrangements

There were lots of little critters.  We caught lots of toads and frogs and there were thousands of lizards.  And one snake.  

There were also lots of little mice running all around our campsite.  They would dart around, from our sleeping bags, to our "kitchen" and to our packs.  Marcus packed blowguns and so we all started hunting.  It sounds a little morbid and maybe the picture is too much for the blog, but seriously, would you want to go to sleep knowing that these little guys were running around your head?  Marcus and Scott gave them a proper burial after they took the picture.

I also learned a little something about everyone.

Julie is a no-fuss, no complaining kind of girl. She has a cute little giggle and loves sweets.

Scott really loves his fiancé and takes really good care of her. He is terrified of snakes and leeches.

James is tougher and braver than any of us give him credit for.

And of course Marcus. I know him pretty well. But somehow, until this trip I never realized how much he likes traditions. He loves this trip and all that it entails, and doesn't want to change much about it, unless he's sure it will make it better.

We spent a lot of time playing in the water and enjoying the warm sun.

What a beautiful, incredible place to visit.  I am amazed every time we go how gorgeous it is.  We are already looking forward to next year!

Where We've Been

Escalante over the years:

2007

2008

2010

2012

I am sore, slightly sunburned, somewhat sleep deprived, and covered in mosquito bites, but as always it was worth it.  Full Escalante post coming soon.

9 Months Old

Asher is nine months old!

At nine months:

Weight: 19 pounds (25 percentile)
Height: 27.5 inches (40 percentile)
Head: 17.6 inches (50 percentile)

-Asher is crawling all over the place.  He is quick and always tries to crawl into the tiniest places.  He beelines it for the stairs and always wants to crawl back behind the toilet (sick!)

-He loves to raise his arms above his head, and does it when we say "Who's so big?"

-He is spitting up way less now, but still drools like a little monster.

-He usually takes 4 bottles a day, but some days he will go the longest time without taking one.  He just doesn't really ever act like he needs it and sometimes will only drink a few ounces.  If we are out somewhere and he is distracted, he will go all day refusing to take a bottle.  It worries me sometimes but I have to try to just relax about it!

-He sometimes likes baby food but other times doesn't have much interest.  He loves real food and always wants to feed himself.  He loves puffs, mum mums, black beans, bread, tomatoes and strawberries.

-He still loves water and drinking out of a straw.

-He no longer sleeps swaddled but loves his swaddle blankets.  I wrap it around him but every time he pulls a little corner up to hold near his face while he sucks his thumb.  It is the cutest thing. 

-He pulls up on everything now and loves to stand.

-He is always trying to get away.  He tries to dive our of our arms, off of chairs, and thinks it is so funny to try to go down the stairs head first.

-He is just starting to figure more and more things out, like how to unzip things, how to unplug the tub, open my wallet, etc.

-Everything goes into his mouth.  And then he seals his little lips and shakes his head and makes it so hard for me to get it out!

-Sometimes he gets really intense and will grab our faces and just squeeze them while he shakes, almost like he is gritting his teeth.  I like to think that is his crazy way of giving us loves.

-He loves to look at your face and really analyze it, then he'll reach up and touch your eyes, nose, mouth.

-He has lots of fuzzy, super blonde hair but mostly in the back.  From about the ears forward he still is mostly bald!

-So far he doesn't really seem to mind to have other people hold him or tend him.
-He babbles all day long.

-He still loves attention and is always looking around to see if people are watching him.  He laughs and laughs once you look at him.

see last month here.

Sisters & Mom Weekend

This last weekend was supposed to be our weekend to go to St. George with the girls in the family.  Because of my mom's knee we weren't able to make the trip but still had a girls' weekend in Centerville.  We made crafts, ate lots of good food, and even did quite a bit of shopping.  We stayed up late, laughed lots and made lots of fun memories.

Lola was lucky and was the only kid who got to come.  She was so good and for the weekend was just one of the girls.  Marcus was sweet and watched Asher for the entire weekend so I could hang out with the girls.

Our weekend included:

*all photos via our phones, hence the awesome quality*

Meeting at the quilt shop to gather our crafting supplies

Sewing all afternoon, with tons and tons of help from Tierra.  The rest of us struggled along while she helped us all and still finished her table runner before the rest of us

Pedicures.  Cute Lola got her nails painted

More sewing

Paradise Bakery

Quick shopping trip to Target.  And running in to Jack Sparrow.  Elise and Lola both got pretty giddy about it

Midnight plans for another craft

Early morning goose chase to track down more supplies.  Frustrations at Michael's, and FINALLY finding what we needed

Taking over stores with our energy and excitement, and remembering that we don't own the place and need to tone it down

Stopping at the gas station for rejuvenation (the good ice for Katie and me, diet coke for T, a little snack for Lola, and Peach-Os for Lise)

Me and Lola being twinners

Delicious salads and paninis at Plates and Palates

Spending the day at City Creek, wheeling mom around in the rented wheelchair.  (And suffering from shopping exhaustion in the elevator to our car.)

Lola losing her purse, and heading back to Nordstrom to track it down

Whirlwind shopping at Crate & Barrel before they closed

Cheesecake Factory (at 10:00 at night)

Cheesecake at midnight

Sleeping in

Church

Crafting

A delicious, fancy dinner - salmon, salad, potatoes and yummy angel food cake all prepared by dad.

Lola turning grandpa into a bumble bee.  This was her "craft" while we worked on ours.

We crammed so much in during these three days and had so much fun.  I am so lucky to have the best family and have the best times together.